Sunday, February 3, 2013

Coming Home!

I am sitting at my dining room table watching the red bellied woodpecker decimate the suet hanging on the deck, and it is beautiful.

This has been quite the month, my last post was New Year's resolutions and so far I had about three days where I did my great things each day in a jar before I ended up in the hospital. I have been home less than 24 hours at this point but I am super happy to be here. Not as happy with how I feel but I will continue to hope that things will improve.

There have been times off and on through the last months and especially earlier in January that I wished I had never gone through the transplant. It has been one hellish journey at times and this last month tops it all. I had hoped I would not undergo a surgery anywhere near the caliber of my transplant again and I had all hope that I would never have a chest tube. Well that was not to be. A thoracotomy and two chest tubes, not to forget the drain tube, later it was what I wanted least that I got. Right now my future is unknown and that scares me but as I sat this morning doing my meds I realized something, I really have had some great things since transplant that I wouldn't give back for the world.

First is my time on the vent. An awful experience but it gave me the chance to spend time with my brother who up until that point I saw maybe once a month. I also got to spend every day with my parents. Not all families are as lucky to love and respect, or care for each other like ours does. We are a united group. Not to forget all the great people who have given me hope and courage, and prayed for me.

I got the chance to take a printmaking class and live with my brother and wife for a week, I got to spend many days with my friends at their pool just gabbing. I went for many many many walks, unaided of which I haven't experienced in a decade or more. I went fishing with my dad, to a play with my Mom, sister, and niece. I went to Duluth and the cities many times with my husband. I have been given the chance to practice my artwork and buy the lino scribe for printmaking at home. I have seen beautiful sunrises and sunsets. Two Christmases, Two Thanksgivings, and my 35th birthday. Spend time with extended family that I hadn't in years.

As hard as this has been and is I should never again say I regret having the transplant because those things listed above would not be if I hadn't. I realize this time I have is probably not going to be 10 or 20 years, but each day I get whether good or bad is another day here with the ones I love. Even if it is sitting at my dining room table watching birds eat. In my book it's worth this moment.

1 comment:

  1. Sometimes keeping a healthy perspective on things can be so hard. I'm sure your thoughts are shared by many transplantees at one time or another. I'm glad you have found your gratitude place again and hope you get lots more good days to celebrate and look forward to.