I give up trying to find a 'normal' as I think being in constant infection is my 'normal'. I don't want this to be the case but I seem to have no control over what my body will do to itself, and I guess I never really had. Right now it is just one day at a time.
My last blog post was a rather upset one and though I don't usually speak or write like that. I feel my blog although public is also the outlet for the issues in my life and if someone chooses to read it and doesn't like what I have to say or how I am saying it that is not my problem. I will censor myself to a point but beyond that all is fair game.
As I am struggling with another lung infection and put on some shitty drugs once again that makes me feel like someone else is running the show, meaning my body parts, while I just watch them do strange things. Yesterday when I would try to scratch my cheek I would poke myself in the forehead, that felt nice. I also couldn't stand for more than two minutes without getting motion sickness. Today is somewhat better and they have switched me to a different medication so hopefully the side effects from the bad one will be gone in a few days.
This awful weather makes it hard to think of beautiful days outside but I do try to think of the good things that can come with warmer temps. I hope to find myself fishing again this summer. Although this time with waders in the stream as walking upstream in running shoes that stuck in mud every step was probably not my best choice, that and nearly falling in with my arm that had the PICC in it. This year a bit more careful, but more important I hope I actually catch a fish or two.
I would also like to go up north and spend sometime on a quiet lake. The times I have gone with the family there is nothing more beautiful and peaceful then sitting quietly in a boat in the early morning hours, or evening when the loons call and the air is clear and silent.
My husband is not a fisherman, he appreciates the serenity of the lake but sitting with a bobber lifeless on the water is not his version of a good time. We like to go up north to Duluth and beyond, enjoy the watching the boats, the sound of the water lapping the shoreline, and the outdoors.
|Split Rock Lighthouse|
What are your plans this summer?