Monday, February 21, 2011

Finally at 6:58 PM I feel half way normal, well,  normal for me.

I was at the clinic by 7:30 this morning and didn't leave until 3:00. I had 4 appointments and only one that actually required more than conversation. But my whole day's schedule was off, I was up at 5 (yuck) and couldn't get to my vest again until 3:30 and for me that is just too long. I got so cold during the Nuclear Scan that I have spent the last 4+ hours trying to warm up. Between long underwear, sweat pants, two layers on top, and to top it off a robe and slipper, and finally I am warm. But still tired.

I realized today that I have not missed a day of exercise in over 5 weeks. Today I am not going to exercise, and I will feel guilty about it until I finally exercise tomorrow. Should I feel guilty when most people haven't even looked at their exercise equipment in 5 years. But, I do. Now let's see if tomorrow I feel the effects.

I learned a little more about transplant today, mostly I learned that I could live a 'normal life' and actually be able to work an 8 hour day. I wasn't looking at full-time work as a bonus of new lungs. I was focused on going places spontaniously, traveling more, and running up the stairs (honestly).  Seriously, if you were given new lungs and could breath doing anything, would you want to spend your life in front of the computer for 8 hours a day? Actually most people already do, I am just not sure if I would have the patience. So, I will ponder on that occastionally, since there really is no use worrying about something like that when I have such a long road ahead. Don't count your chickens...

Thanks to my brother and dad for tagging along today. I think my brain is beyond overload, I can't seem to retain much and other's ears and brains are much needed through this process. I tried tonight to remember some stuff to share with my husband and our conversations went like this. Chris said, "today at work I was talking with Jon and.... I interject "Oh, Oh, I remember something let me get it out before I forget again." He says, "Yes, go ahead, that's fine." I spit out what I remember, nothing that necessarily even requires conversation, just facts, and then back we go to our original conversation. This happened more than once, the night is still young.

Todays highlight, really has to be spending time with my dad and brother. I spend time with them otherwise, but usually it is my mom that trudges through the clinic with me, God Bless her. Today it was the two guys that have been with me since day one of my life. I can't repay my family for all the good, nice, thoughtful things they have done for me over the years, months, and last few weeks. I don't know how they find the strength but I will spend the rest of my life being thankful for the time we have spent together.

Life has only one guarantee, it will end. How you enjoy it is up to you, how you treat others is up to you, how you view life is up to you, just remember it is gone in a blink. Live and love while you have the chance, but cherish every moment.

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