Friday, February 24, 2012


Life sure flies by lately. Seems I blink and another week has gone by. It has been great being out of the hospital. I realize now how much of an issue that abscess in my airway was causing me. Hindsight is always 20/20 and in this case, so true. I am not out of the woods with the abscesses, there are no guarantees that it will not return, as of now it continues to drain into my airway and thus the reason I remain, for the foreseeable future, on antibiotics.

Even though I do a self breathing check everyday I worry that the abscess will return, at least now I know the doctors have options and I hope that the least invasive will be the one or ones that work because having my lung collapsed and the abscesses removed then having a chest tube for days sounds about as un-fun as anything I could possibly think of. So, I will try to worry less and hope for the best, as always.

This week has also been interesting as I have had some moments where doing mundane things I am overcome by the realization that I am still here on this earth, still breathing. I can't explain what the feeling is, an overwhelming sense of gratitude for my donor and a thankfulness that I have been given more time. I have thought more about my donor lately and continue to formulate the letter I will one day write to his or her family. It's like being passed a torch and I am carrying this torch not only to brighten my life but to see that the life that once sustained these lungs are given their full share of life for the generous gift they have bestowed on me.

Tonight I posted this on Facebook: A mere 270 days ago I walked out of my house on oxygen and into St. Mary's with a head cold and lung infection. In those 270 days I spent 145 days on a ventilator, underwent five surgeries, a tracheotomy, a stomach tube placement, lung transplant, sinus surgery, and abscess drainage. I nearly died four times, once before the tracheotomy, twice during my lung transplant, and a way too close call nearly three weeks ago. Tonight I sit here posting from the home I left 270 days ago, officially back! This time no oxygen, and what I have gained is priceless. Not only receiving the best gift from a stranger but having a life altering experience that I can never fully explain in words. The people I met that changed my life and a renewed spirit and love for my fellow humans. This life journey can never be made alone, and it is those we encounter everyday that make our lives what they are and even in the deepest hardship we can find the brightest light!

Tomorrow when I wake, forgetting where I am at, it will strike me that I have come a very long way and if I am lucky I will have many more nights to enjoy just being home!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

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