Tuesday, May 3, 2011

My crazy Hawaiian vacation

I had the same dream last night that I have had repeatedly over the last three or four years. I don't know what triggers it, and even though the story is the same basically, I am in a different place. I have this dream that I am either trying to fly to Hawaii, or I have already made it to Hawaii. But in the case such as last night and tends to occur everytime I have this dream I get there and I realize I have no medicine, no therapy vest, and now no oxygen (that's new). I also couldn't find my luggage on the carousel from the airplane, so now I am in Hawaii with nothing but the clothes on my back. Funny enough I can breath just fine even though I am not wearing oxygen, and yet apparently I supposedly have three oxygen tanks with me but I am not sure how I got them there. Three tanks will only last me about nine hours and I rationalize this in my dream.

I have had this same dream but instead of making it to Hawaii I get stuck at the airport realizing once again I forgot my vest at home. For crying out loud, after having this same dream how many times don't you think I would learn to travel with all my stuff packed?

It really isn't new for me to have dreams over time that are essentially the same each time. I also have the re-occuring house dream. That I started getting when we were trying to sell our house, that one still revisits me, different house, same people. I also use to have the can't find a bathroom dream, where the only bathroom I can find is in front of everyone and the ones that are private are broken or just plain weird. Or the locker dream, of not remembering my combination. I would guess somewhere in all those dreams there is probably a thread, something that ties them all together - or maybe not. Maybe each one of them ties themselves to something different in my life. I always think that I decipher these dreams too easily. Such as the idea that being able to travel with all my 'tag-a-longs' is something I can't comprehend. I will always be tethered to something and will never be free to do things without having a sense of obligation.

Whatever the case maybe, I realize I would like to go back to Hawaii, now 23 years since we last visited. But I really don't want to go if I feel overwhelmed like I do in my dreams, it is to be, pretty, warm, and peaceful. So, who knows maybe someday I will get back there, but without the oxygen, vest, or inhaled paraphernalia. One never knows.

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