Monday, July 4, 2011

The rollercoaster that won't stop

Posted Jun 30, 2011 10:52am

Sarah had a very tough day yesterday. New meds, new trach, bad sleep, poor suction, low oxygen-- no one is sure which is the culprit or if they all conspired to lay her low, but they succeeded. She was in a stupor all day and couldn't pull out of it. They are changing around her meds again to try and help. The new trach is smaller, which helps; and causes problems with suction and coughing, which doesn't. They will discuss the option of going back to the old one and the option of taking it out altogether. While this would seem like a great thing, we are all concerned that there might be a rush to get it out, because that's what you would normally do to help someone recover. We have all seen how Sarah got to here and how she has come back in large part due to the vent and (in our non-medical opinion) it is really helping quite a lot with Sarah's stability. We just have to ask the questions and see what the Docs are thinking.

The truth is that we are in a holding pattern and the ups and downs make your head swim. When we were kids, Mom and Trish when on a ferris wheel at the fair. The operator thought they looked like they were having fun, so he sent them around and around again. Mom ended up getting sick. Every day feels like that, only on a rollercoaster. Where there are some straightaways where you can catch your breath, but then it's all crazy ups and downs. We're just trying to keep our head and arms inside the ride at all times, and hopefully the ride will come to a stop soon. (This metaphor makes me think of her new lungs like a bag of pink cotton candy by the ride exit)

I can't even imagine how hard this is for Sarah, when she's fighting for each breath, the drugs make her loopy or sleepy, and she just doesn't know how to keep going. I'm hoping to get the message this morning that she had a good night and things are up again.

In related news, I'll probably never get a text from Mom and Dad again.

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